Attention: Parents Worried For Their Kids’ Future…
How To Help Your Kids Hangout With Mentors
Homeschooling Your Children Means Giving Them The Time And Space To Get Mentored By The Best
Have you ever asked these questions before?
- Will students with the highest grades in school end up having the happiest marriages? Will they know how to raise happy kids of their own?
- Will students with the highest grades be the most compassionate people in the world? Will they serve humanity and be selfless? Will they be the most ethical human beings of society?
- Will students with the highest grades develop a strong relationship with God?
- Will students with the highest grades have the financial literacy and wisdom to know how to invest early so that they retire with millions?
- Will students with the highest grades have the entrepreneurial spirit to start businesses, create amazing products, give jobs to people, and have the generosity to help the poor and the church?
Answer: You’ll find no connection between high grades and these “deeper” successes in life.
Which brings me to the subject of homeschooling. I love homeschooling. For 11 years now, we’ve been homeschooling our 2 boys, and I love what I see in my kids.
Note: I’ll be the first guy to tell you that homeschooling is not a magic pill. If your relationship with your kids is a disaster, there is no education system in the world that can solve that problem.
But I believe homeschooling has some amazing advantages. (It has disadvantages, too.) Going back to my questions above, I find 4 weaknesses of traditional schooling which homeschooling can overcome.
School Provides Mostly Peer Socialization;
But We Need Much More Than That To Succeed In Life
People ask me all the time, “Bo, how did you become successful in all major areas of your life? You’re a great husband, a wonderful father, a successful entrepreneur, an effective missionary… How did you do it?” I used to say, “God has been good to me,” but people answered back, “Uh, God has been good to me too, but I don’t experience your level of success. Can you please give me a practical answer?”
So I tell them, “I have mentors in every area of my life. I have mentors in my spiritual life, in my financial life, in my family life, in my health… These mentors are ultra-successful in those areas. They’re my models. I meet them regularly, pick their brains, and absorb their energy.”
We’re shaped by our environment. And I’ve been very deliberate in choosing the best environment for my life—a socialization that equips and inspires. I hang out with people who can deposit values, wisdom, and love into my life.
Here’s what I see: A lot of people who lack success usually hang out with people like them. This is peer socialization. We need that in our lives. But if you want to grow, it’s not enough. You need to hang out with people who already are living the life you dream about.
Homeschooling can provide peer socialization (My sons join Gym classes, Karate Club, Art Lessons, etc.). But if you be deliberate about it, homeschooling can provide the space and time for your children to socialize with various mentors.
First of all, in homeschooling, parents become the kids’ first mentors. This is important. Parent, you can spend more time with your kids, so you could pass your values and vision.
Second, homeschooling can encourage kids to look for mentors in other areas of their lives—especially in their area of their passion. For example, my eldest son has a passion for music—specifically drumming. Instead of just taking up a generic class in music (given in a traditional school), he was able take a special 6-week 1-on-1 course in drumming by one of the drumming legends of the Philippines (you’ll be surprised how inexpensive it was). And because he’s passionate about youth ministry, he has the time to hang out with youth leaders 5 years, 10 years, and 20 years older than him.
Schools Teach Kids To Fear Failure;
But Success Can Only Happen If
You’ve Had Lots Of Failures.
In traditional schools, kids are afraid of exams and are afraid of committing mistakes. Or they fail. So students graduate and work with this acquired fear still within them. They become immobilized, constantly hearing in their minds, “Don’t make a mistake!”
But I’ve learned that in real life — you’ve got to be willing to make mistakes. You’ve got to stretch, try things you’ve never done before, and learn from failure.
I’ve discovered that the less failure you’ve had, the least successful you are. The most successful people in the world are those who’ve failed the most times.
Homeschooling is not grade centered, but growth centered. We can ask the child to take the exam as many times as he wants. Did he fail in one part of the exam? No problem. Tell him, “Son, let’s work on this topic some more. And when you’re ready, re-take that part of the exam…”
Homeschooled kids embrace failure as a fact of life. They’re taught to learn from our failures and move on.
School Exams Teach Us That There’s Only One Way To Answer;
But In Real Life, There Are Many Ways To Answer.
Remember your written exams in school?
There was only one answer allowed. It was in the textbook or it was how Teacher explained it. And if you don’t get that, you fail.
Many times, we were taught what to think, not how to think. Because of this, schools train us to be excellent test-takers, not necessarily excellent thinkers.
In homeschooling, you can even take the test orally. It’s the skill, not the memorized information, that is important.
And one more thing…
Classrooms Increase IQ;
Real Life Situations Increase EQ.
They discovered that there are many kinds of intelligence.
Most often, traditional schools focus on IQ.
It’s true that some progressive schools are now trying to develop the other kinds of intelligence—kinesthetic, aesthetic, mechanical, etc…—but you still have the problem of having only one teacher to a classroom of 20, or 30, or 40 kids.
Nothing beats the ratio of homeschooling—1:1.
Because of this, homeschool is flexible and adaptable. You can give your child hands on, real-life situations to increase your child’s EQ or Emotional Quotient—which researchers say is more important to success than IQ.
For example, because a homeschooling child has more time, your child can start a little business or volunteer in an orphanage or join in a youth ministry.
If Schools Don’t Help Your Child Become A Total Success,
You’ve Got To Take Charge Of Your Child’s Education
That’s why I’m a firm believer in homeschooling.
Bottomline, in homeschooling, parents say, “I’m no longer passing the responsibility of my child’s education to others. I’m now in charge.”
And from experience, when someone takes responsibility over something, great things happen. In this case, great things happen to your children.
May your dreams come true,