Our date nights are sacred.
Unless it’s an invitation from the President of the Republic, I say no to all invitations and meetings. Our relationship is what it is today because of those precious dates.
By the way, did you know she has magical powers?
When I’m with her, she drains my stress away. When I’m going through a rough time, all I have to do is share my problems to her, and instantly, I feel so much better. With her, I’m at home. And I rest.
I believe couples need to connect with each other in a deep way, or they will drift apart and look for attachments elsewhere.
Aside from our weekly dates, I grab special times I call “spontaneous moments of connection”.
Spontaneous Moments Of Connection
One day, I came home ready to dive into my work. The usual stuff I do: articles to write, talks to prepare, meetings to plan…
But when I came home, I saw this lovely woman sitting on the couch all by herself.
I thought to myself, “Work can wait,” and I grabbed this opportunity to sit beside the greatest girl on the galaxy. It wasn’t planned. But we were able to talk and connect our hearts. Even just for a few minutes.
Life offers us these fantastic times of bonding. I’ve learned not to miss them: Being stuck in traffic with her. Or waiting for the dentist. Or lining up in the grocery. These times don’t have to be boring if you hold hands and talk.
How To Have A Great Marriage
One day, a young husband came up to me and said, “Bo, I wish my marriage will be as great as yours ten years from now…”
I only had one word for him: “Don’t wish. Decide.”
In that one line, I gave my secret to success.
That’s what separates great marriages and not-so-great marriages.
That’s what separates successful people from unsuccessful people.
Unsuccessful people desire and hope for their dreams.
That’s not enough.
Successful people decide to make their dreams happen. Period.
That means they’ll do whatever it takes.
Nothing will stop them.
Failure is not an option.
Let me ask you: Will you do whatever it takes?
For me as a husband, it means…
- – practicing “mental” monogamy
- – overlooking her faults
- – going out of my way to express my love
- – prioritizing our dates
- – leading my family to God
Note: Just in case you’re in the delusion that I’m a perfect husband, that will easily be corrected by asking my wife!
But the important thing is that I’ve decided to become a great husband. And I make that decision everyday. (I struggle towards this dream everyday!)
Don’t Just Desire. Decide.
“But Bo, I’ve already decided to be a success! But I guess my decision wasn’t strong enough . . .”
Then that means you haven’t really decided yet.
You’ve just desiring.
If you remain in the level of desire, nothing much happens. (Hey, I’m not saying it’s not important to desire your dream. That’s what I teach people to do. But you can’t remain in that level.)
You must go to the level of decision.
I’m reminded of this Chinese General who invaded an island.
He came with a few ships filled with his brave soldiers.
Upon landing on the shore, he asked his soldiers to burn their own boats. Obviously, they were shocked. I’m sure some of them wanted to ask, “Uh, Sir, did the long journey fry your brain?”
Instead, as polite soldiers, they asked, “Sir, may we know the reason for burning our boats?”
The General said, “We’ll leave this island either as Victors or as dead men. Escape is not an option.”
That’s a decision.
And that’s the kind of decision that will make you succeed in anything. Including your Family Life.
May your dreams come true,